Even though it’s been nearly a decade since I sat in a classroom, the fall season—the quickly approaching fall season, I should add—always makes me yearn for new projects, whether it’s taking a course or ripping apart a kitchen. After summer’s laissez-faire attitude (boat drinks, anyone?), there’s a feeling of “let’s get serious” in the air.

For many of us, this let’s-get-serious mood stems from an anticipation of snow. There are only so many home reno projects you can do once winter hits, and since fall is more moderate than Hades-heated July and August, it’s a great time to do one or two more outdoor projects, especially those tasks that can’t wait till next spring.

While crawling the web, I came across an article featuring HGTV handyman Steve Watson, host of Don’t Sweat It. In the article, Steve outlines the Top 5 things every homeowner needs to do before winter. Luckily, none of these jobs take more than a day to do. Here are his tips:

Leaky Roof: if you’ve got a leak, do not wait for winter before tackling the problem. Find the source of the leak by watching where it comes in during a rainstorm. Then, once the source is located, climb onto the roof and fix the spot; or, better still, hire a pro to do it for you. Because you’ve done the initial sourcing, the fix shouldn’t take long.

Clean the Gutters: unless you want to create an ice dam in winter, now is the perfect time to clean out your gutters so that the icy runoff has somewhere to run into. Of course, if your house is situated near trees that lose leaves come fall, you should save this job till late fall so that you can remove any littered leaves that can clog up your gutters. Also, don’t forget to check the downspouts. Or, as with the leaky roof, just get someone else to clean the gutters.

Check Window Seals: if you’ve opened up your windows in the summer, chances are there’s dirt and debris along the seal, which means the windows won’t properly seal in the winter and you’ll lose efficiency. But by simply cleaning the seals (and replacing any damaged spots) you’ll keep in the heat all winter long.

Winterize Your Pipes: take a peak under your house or in your basement for any pipes that need insulating or that require new insulation. Measure the length and then wrap it with pipe insulation. So simple, and yet such a pain to do in cold weather. Do it now.

Check the Deck: You’ve stored away the patio furniture, now do a quick once-over of the deck. Did you forget to treat it this summer? Do it now by giving the deck a solid clean (using a power-washer if you’ve got one) and then apply a coat of water-sealant. Done and done. You’re officially serious.

Last week, a 72-year-old man in Toronto was charged with 30 counts of mischief for slashing his neighbour’s tires. The man, head of the area’s neighbourhood watch, was trying to prove a point—no parking on the street—but instead, ended up proving a deeper truth: neighbours, like siblings, don’t often get along.
Mention a rotten neighbour and everyone can relate; we all know what it’s like to live next door to a noisy, thoughtless, destructive family, which is why rottenneighbor.com has become so popular.

The website is gaining traction as the newest way to vent against your neighbour and engage in name-calling, yelling and other adult activities. There are better, more thoughtful ways to deal with the people next door, but then again, when faced with unreasonableness, nothing beats a little venting.

Posts entitled “attack dog” and “get a life, nosey neighbor” litter the discussion boards, but don’t seem to result in much else. There was a time that borrowing a cup of sugar was the norm, but now it seems for this, like everything else, we need some help. eHow’s instructions may prove some guidance, but perhaps trying to talk to your neighbors can be just the key. Who knows, you may even find that you’re both driven crazy by the guy across the street.

We’ve come a long way from the garden gnome when it comes to garden sculptures. The iconic gnome, originally created from terracotta, was first made in Germany in the mid-1880s, as both decoration and to add a helping hand to gardeners by gardening at night when everyone else slept. This myth continued to spread for the next century, even spurning a new pastime, gnome hunting.

Continuing on the Home Improvement Blog’s theme of otherworldly phenomena, we’ve discovered that nowadays, the gnome isn’t the only creature of the night spreading soil and warding off evil spirits. For $90 you can protect your turf with a Zombie of Montclaire Moors Sculpture, designed by British artist Alan Dickinson.

The life-sized, grey-toned zombie appears to be clawing his way out of the dirt, his facial expression potent enough to scare away trespassers and priests alike.

Dickinson was commissioned by Toscano Design, a company specializing in both indoor and outdoor statues and sculptures. The Zombie piece is one of 36 so-called “extraordinary sculptures” sold by the Illinois company, which also includes pieces depicting Bigfoot, Easter Island, an alien and—for a mere $695—Revenge of the Great White Shark.

Of course, those resilient gnomes aren’t taking this garden invasion lying down. Expect revenge. No word yet on whether or not this will improve the lot of weed-ridden front yards throughout North America.

For the lucky ones, summertime means taking a vacation away from home for a week or two for some well-deserved R&R—actually, make mine a G&T. Weeks before a trip, pet owners call up their neighbour for feeding and walking duties; others hire house-sitters to come and water plants. Obvious stuff, really.

But why stop with plants and pets? The fine folks over at Charles & Hudson recently wrote about having your hardwood floors refinished while away on vacation. Instead of living through the messy, five-day refinishing process, why not have it done when you’re not around? Same goes with any type of flooring, whether it’s hardwood or you’re having wall-to-wall carpeting installed, putting down laminate.

Of course, you’d have to trust the contractors working while you’re away, so make sure you hire a reliable company.

Now that I think about it, many home-renovation projects suit this while-we’re-away timetable. Is your driveway looking tired? Have it repaved, resealed or bricked when you’re gone. Same goes with any exterior paths and patios.

What about your deck, does it need refinishing? No use having this done while you’re home barbecuing and entertaining guests. Speaking of backyard parties, who wants up a big whiff of paint fumes? Nobody, so if you’re home’s in need of an exterior paint job, get it done while you’re gone.

Of course, there’s something to be said for DIY projects or even keeping an eye on the contractors at work, but there’s a big difference between being watching and “living through” the job.

It used to be, find a weed, douse it with a toxin-laden chemical liquid, and bask in the glory of your pristine, green yard. Just don’t step on the cancer-causing grass.

A few years ago I was weeding a cottage yard—dumb, really; cottages should be rustic-looking—when I noticed the bottle of weed killer had a corrosive symbol. “Don’t touch this stuff!” it seemed to scream, “or your hand will melt away.” Which got me thinking: if it’s this bad, this corrosive, should I really be dousing the yard with it?

Luckily, most of us have climbed out of the Middle Ages when it comes to responsible gardening, helped by a growing number of municipal bylaws banning cosmetic pesticides. For most of us this means not stressing over a few rogue dandelions; for others, it means finding new ways to weed.

Of course, horticulturalists have been weeding for centuries, long before the likes of Roundup and other chemical killers, and they did just fine. Like cooking, the key to organic gardening is understanding your ingredients. For example, lemon juice is an effective killer because of its acidity; same goes for vinegar.

Still on the cooking comparison, organic gardening is as much about method as it is ingredients. Unlike synthetic products, these naturally acidic liquids are non-selective, meaning if you spray wildly, you will likely harm your plants and grass as well as the weeds, so be careful to direct your weeding nozzle at the weeds.

Your mowing method is also important. Forget creating a golfing green; high mowing—cutting off no more than a third of the grass—shades out sun-loving weeds and encourages root development tough enough to withstand summer heat waves. As a general rule, don’t cut any shorter than three inches.

Of course, there are a million green-gardening tips and techniques out there; the key is to find what works for your yard and your region. And really, even if a few weeds pop up here and there, is it so bad? Maybe the key isn’t total lawn domination, but a nice, gentle democracy.

This Sunday is Father’s Day, and while not every dad pines for tools, nothing says “I love you, Mr. Fix-it” quite like a new tool.

But rather than getting him a tool he won’t use or that’s beyond his abilities—hey, let’s not embarrass him on his one day to be king—look for a simple-yet-cool tool. Here are the Top 3 slightly ridiculous, over-the-top tools for Father’s Day:

Titanium Hammer: You’ve heard him mention “titanium” in reference to golf clubs, but this lightweight yet tough-as-nail material is not limited to sports equipment. This 15-ounce hammer feels as light as a squash racquet but packs a punch. Take a close look and you’ll notice a few special features, including a side nail puller and a magnetic nail starter. But the best part of this gift is you can tell him, “Honey, this hammer has 10 times less recoil than steel.” Go ahead, tell him that.

Solar Robotic Lawn Mower: When I was a younger I wanted an Omnibot 2000, a robotic servant that could carry drinks on a tray. While I never got one, I am pretty sure it was pure novelty anyway.

That said, robots have come a long way since ’83. Husqvarna, best known for chainsaws, recently unveiled its Automower, a fully automatic mower that operates itself by following a path set out by an invisible wire. What’s more, this mower runs on a rechargeable, solar-powered battery; when the mower require more power, it simply drives itself to the charger and basks in the sun till it’s time to get back to work.

SawStop Table Saw: There’s nothing funny about losing a finger to a saw blade, and yet finger-cutting accidents are common whether your dad’s a pro or Mr. Butterfingers. Luckily, there is a solution in SawStop, an electronic detection system that detects human flesh in a millisecond, stopping the blade as soon as contact is made. The website features a video showing what happens when a hot dog hits the blade. Now that’s progress.

This past Saturday was deck teardown day at my parents’ house. They’re replacing their 20-year-old wooden deck with a larger version, and called on me to remove the built-in benches and floorboards while retaining—not smashing—the underneath base. Since the deck was built in 1988, the long, four-inch nails used to secure the floorboards were rusty and impossible to pull out, which meant removing the 12-foot boards without damaging the deck base would require hefty and time-consuming work.

But that’s when I discovered something: building a new deck can be fun work, but tearing down an old, decrepit deck is even more of a joy, especially with brawny, well-designed demolition tools. While I don’t often write tool reviews (leave that to the advertisers), Stanley’s line of multi-functional demolition bars—especially the 30-inch, 8.5-pound version turned gruelling, prisoner-worthy work into something much more manageable, even fun.

Forged from a single piece of high-carbon steel, these four-in-one tools feature an oversized striking face coupled with a serrated extracting claw perfectly sized to grab two-inch-thick lumber. But it was the tool’s pry-bar end that really came in handy; I’d wedge the tool between the joist and floorboards and, using my weight, pop up the board.

The shorter, lighter versions (15 inch and 18 inch) were useful for more finicky work, especially around corners and along the house wall, and for prying nails. While I certainly don’t need all three in my toolkit, the longest version certainly found a permanent place in my demolition line-up.

OK, so earlier in the week we covered the beginning stages of an exterior paint job. If you’re still with us and actually want to go through with this grueling work, then read on because there are a few more steps involved.

Step 3: Washing, Sanding and Priming

Once the old paint is removed, fire up the ole power washer for a quick deep cleaning. As the name implies, these washers are extremely powerful, strong enough to rip apart wood, so don’t set it to high and start blasting. The idea is to remove any surface dirt and leftover paint. Once finished, allow two or three days for the wood to completely dry before sanding.

Sanding smoothes the surface and removes any loose, splintering material, which is especially important if you’re going to be walking on the wood. For small surfaces such as windowpanes, a palm sander (electric or manual) works well; for larger spots, use a random orbit sander (rentable). To avoid clogging up the machine, start with coarse, 100-grit sandpaper, moving on to a finer grit (120-grit) as you sand down.

Once sanded, wood needs to be primed to protect against moisture. There are two main primer types: alkyd primer, also called “oil base,” is usually used on wood trim and siding, treated lumber and metal surfaces. Alkyd primers are good for blocking stains, can be diluted using mineral spirits, and usually dry within a few hours or overnight. Apply with a natural bristle brush.

Acrylic, or latex primer, is similar to alkyd primer and can be used underneath any type of paint, even oil-based paint. Unlike alkyd primer, acrylic primer can be diluted using water and—the real benefit—has a reduced drying time, about four hours max.

Step 4: Picking Paint

Finally, time to get painting. But what’s better for exteriors, oil or latex? The answer used to be oil for its durability, but the quality of latex paints (and primers) has improved to the point of equality, with latex leading the pack for its ease of use and better environmental properties. Moreover, some contractors believe oil paint chokes wood, not allowing the material to breath and making it prone to moisture problems whereas latex allows moisture to pass through without causing the paint to pull away from the wood and peel or crack.

I’ve been using the word “paint” but really I’m talking about paint or stain, and when it comes to exterior wood, stain is usually your best bet for two reasons: one, it allows for the natural beauty of the wood to shine through, showing off the grain patters; but even more importantly, stain tends to penetrate deeper into wood whereas paint just coats the outside. Unlike paint, however, oil-based stain tends to stand up to exterior abuse better than latex-based stain, but if you prep the wood properly, the difference between the two is negligible.

The combination of stained wood with painted accents (windowsills, trim, and so on) is timeless, so consider adding some splashes of colour.

As for choosing a brush, there are two basic types: those made with natural bristles, used for applying alkyd or oil-based paint; and those with synthetic bristles, which can be used to apply all types of paint. As for quality, look for tapered ends (the centre bristles should be slightly longer than those at the edge to help lay down the paint smoothly. Also, choose a brush that is at least half-again as long as it is wide (e.g., the bristles on a two-inch-wide brush should be at least three inches in length).

For size, a four-inch brush with tightly packed bristles, about ¼-inch thick, is best for exterior painting, and an angled one-inch sash brush is great for painting trim and window frames. Lastly, don’t skimp on quality. Well-made brushes create a deep, smooth finish that naturally fends off mildew and dirt.

Step 5: Are you sure you want to do this?

Unlike indoor painting, exterior jobs require a lot of work (especially if you’re up on a ladder all day) and require about a week’s worth of dry days and nights. Depending on the size of the job, scraping, sanding, priming and painting can take up to a week, with three or four days of drying time.

Depending on where you live, the best outdoor painting weather is spring or early fall. The middle of summer might seem dry, but the hot, humid weather creates bad conditions for the paint—it simply won’t dry in high humidity; and in extreme heat, paint will dry too fast, causing uneven drying and even wood warping— to say nothing of the painter.

If it’s a small job, like refinishing a deck or painting a garage, this is certainly doable for most seasoned DIYers; if it’s painting an entire house, hire a pro and don’t waste your holidays.

When I was a kid one of my summer jobs was painting and staining decks and cottages. I’d arrive in my little tin boat and spend a day scraping off peeling paint and stain, maybe sanding a few rough edges before slapping on a new coat of finish. Two days work, easy cash. After all, what’s so hard about painting, right? Pick your colour and get rolling, or brushing or spraying. Done and done — if you can make the decision.

But not quite. I bet most of the exterior paint jobs lasted a season or two—at best; more likely, the finish was coming off before Thanksgiving closedown. Unless you want to repaint every year or be left with a spotty, craggy finish, exterior painting requires both mental and physical prep work, as Katie at Besotted Cottage found out. Here’s the scoop.

Step 1: Wood Inspection

Before you argue with your spouse over which hue of green best matches the dog’s fur, trek down to the hardware store and purchase a $30 moisture meter. These simple-to-use (think of those BBQ fork thermometers) devices check the moisture level of the wood. If the wood is too wet, paint won’t adhere properly. As a general rule, if the wood has more than 16 per cent moisture, it shouldn’t be painted. If this is the case, wait until later in the summer, when the wood is dryer from summer sun.

Step 2: Scrape

Scraping is perhaps the most straightforward task. For really loose paint, a simple flanged scraper works well; for harder-to-remove surfaces, use a sharp hook-type scraper. Scraping quickly dulls the blade, so if you’re working with a large area, keep checking the blade to make sure it’s not dull, and keep scraping until the old paint is removed.

For really stubborn areas, you can use an electric heat gun, but make sure you’re wearing a proper face mask to prevent against inhaling dangerous fumes from old oil and lead paint. As well, be aware that a heat gun can burn the wood, so keep water on hand to douse any flames.

Also, a word of warning: don’t fiddle around with sandblasting or chemical paint removers. These are professional-level tools that can easily ruin the wood if you don’t know what you’re doing. If the job requires this level of removal, consider hiring a pro.

Up next in Part 2: Washing, Sanding, Priming and, finally, Painting!

Somewhere along the way, I’ve developed a reputation for barbecuing food; king of the grill, fire champ, if you catch my drift. It seems wherever I go, I’m expected to drop my drink and take care of the ‘cueing, while everyone else sits around relaxing and watching me like I’m some master chef. Not that I mind, so long as everything’s in perfect order. A champ cannot perform well in bad conditions.

Problems always arise with out-of-tune grills, barbecues with hot and cold spots, low heat, flare-ups or just plain dirty grilling surfaces. But during the outdoor season, the barbecue acts as your kitchen, and how long could you put up with an oven that didn’t work? People live with these issues as if there’s nothing that can be done, but barbecues, like all tools, require yearly maintenance to keep working at top form. That said, the fixes, like everything BBQ, are easy.

Before I continue, I should clarify: I am talking about gas-powered barbecues, not the traditional hibachi or other charcoal cookers. If you’re a traditionalist and consider gas a sin, skip this lesson. For the rest of us, read on.

Step 1: The Burner

Hot and cold spots, flare-ups and other griller eccentrics are almost always related to the burner, the griller’s engine. Depending on how often you use your grill (year-round for me, 52% of other Canadians, according to a recent study by the makers of the fine Weber grills), it eventually burn out and need replacing.

Simply lift off the grills, pull aside the coals or “flavour wave” and lift out the burner. Not all burners are the same size or fit, so wrap it inside a small bag (so it doesn’t make everything dirty) and take it into a hardware store, where you can show it to the guy and get a replacement. For about $40 you’ll have, essentially, a new ‘cue.

Step 2: Spiders and Rust

Spiders and rust … sounds like an Iron Maiden album. New barbecues come equipped with “spider guards” that prevent these small critters from entering the venturi tubes (the metal connectors that feed gas to the burner). This tends to happen over the winter, with spiders and their webs, plus other dirt and debris, clogging up the pipes.

While you’re at the hardware store, pick up a $4 venturi brush, which is basically a long, skinny pipe cleaner with a bristled end. Then simply push the brush through the pipes till they’re clean and free.

Still in a cleaning frame of mind? Now’s the time to get rid of any rust buildup around the venturi tubes, burners and grates. Fine steel wool (#000 or #0000) and some light machine oil should get rid of any surface rust; if the decay runs deeper, you might need to replace a part, but here we’re usually talking about the burner, which should be replaced every two to three years anyway. Same goes for the rubber gas hose similar to the hoses under your car hood; if it’s cracked, replace it.

Rusty propane tanks should not be tinkered with. As a general rule, these tanks last about eight to 10 years. (Quick tip: get two tanks so that if one empties while you’re cooking, you can quickly hook up the full tank without ruining the meal.)

Step 3: Add new coals

Most gas barbecues don’t require charcoal coals because they come with what’s often referred to as a “flavour wave,” which reflects and directs flames while creating smoke from dripping juices and oils. However, that said, you can certainly add charcoal coals to your ‘cue, just make sure you replace them every season or so.

Besides coals, you can also play around with pieces of soaked wood (apple wood smoked ribs, anyone?), such as hickory. Use your own, or buy specially soaked shavings from a specialty food store.

Step 4: You’re Done

That’s right, there is no Step 4. See, I told you, barbecuing is easy living done well, or in my case, medium rare.