It’s official: I’ve entered my Carlsberg years. it seems like only yesterday conversations with friends revolved around derelict landlords, overdue philosophy papers and who did what at weekend house parties. But these, as it turns out, were minor stresses compared to thirty-something worries over marriage, new homes and—the crux of the matter—home renovations.

Renovating a home is a rite of passage most of us go through, the lucky ones at least, and yet few things in life create such high stress as figuring out what projects to set in motion, how to pay for it, and whether or not to hire a contractor. It can be overwhelming to say the least, especially since most of us have never encountered anything of this sort before, which often results in nothing getting done. Sad but true, this is the new wing-night chat.

Not surprisingly, the web is full of blogs created by newlyweds with renovation on the brain, whether they’re greening their lives or trying to turn an old home new, complete with his and her shopping trips. But for every keen couple there’s a flipside—those who barely made it and those that broke down, thanks, no doubt, to the fantasy world of home renos depicted on TV.

Rather than planting a few platitudes on how to manage stress (count to 10, breathe deeply…as if this ever works), let me leave you with one tidbit of real reno advice: plan ahead. Like everything else in life, remodelling is all about deciding on a plan of attack and executing it.

Project derailment (and that other D-word) is avoidable with preparation, so before saying “I do” to that bathroom fix-up, make sure you’re both in tune.